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Karen Ruimy: 'I had wealth, success, bit it wasn't the life I wanted'It takes a brave woman to walk away from the trappings of a high- flying lifestyle. The Four Feathers Full Movie on this page. But it was a change she had to make A mews pad close to Eaton Square: I am sitting on a dark woolly fur chair with two horns, like a bull’s. Its companion is a chair resembling a matador, dressed in a pink jacket and black hat. It is a room crying out for the question: who would live in a house like this? Answer: a woman who earned a fortune in Parisian high finance but felt so empty inside she walked away to become a professional flamenco dancer. Karen Ruimy’s trajectory is as improbable as her taste in interior design.

Along the way, she did so much soul- searching – burying herself for two years in philosophical and spiritual research – that she became something of a guru. Her remarkable story is one of someone who felt her life was shaped by circumstance and decided to wrench back control. Who years before the banking collapse rejected rampant materialism. Often when you get a good education you move straight into a good job.

Then one day you wake up and say, “What am I doing here?” It was much easier for me to remain working in finance. On paper, my life was perfect. But I was increasingly unhappy. Back then, everybody told me I was crazy walking out on that life and it seems to me that it’s only in the past two or three years, since the global crash, others are experiencing the same emotions.’Karen practising her flamenco show.

Now in her mid- 4. Karen has lived in London for six years (moving here because of her husband’s job), but she was born and brought up in Casablanca, a Jewish girl in an Arab country. Partly because of growing political tensions, her family emigrated to Paris in 1.

Karen. ‘Coming from Morocco, being Jewish, I was different. I love France but it’s a very strong culture and I didn’t want to be left out.’ One way to acceptance was to win the best grades at school. For my father, my going to university was a big deal, so I could not fail him.’ Why study for an MBA? In Morocco, I could see how powerless women were. In France, I could see the powerlessness of immigrants.

I couldn’t stand the thought of being weak. I knew that money gave you power.’She excelled. But she remembers being recruited for a job only to be told to change her name. You cannot be called Benhamou. You must have a French name.’ ‘No way,’ she shot back and walked out. Even so, she won a job in mergers and acquisitions for HSBC before she completed her degree.

One year later, she was head- hunted by the CEO of Finacor, the brokerage house. I was very quiet in the office and they said, “You’re going to have to live in the pit [the trading floor] for a while.” They put me down there to see how tough I was.

It was noisy and super physical.’ And how many women were on the floor? Very few. I didn’t care. It was a challenge and fun. There were men from all sorts of backgrounds there. At the beginning, they made fun of me.

And then, when they saw I was able to compete, they shut up.’ It was all adrenalin and excitement: ‘You listen to the orders, you go and trade, which requires a lot of physical energy, and when you do a deal the satisfaction is instant. But there is no security – you slip, you’re out; somebody’s face doesn’t fit, bye.

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It was full- on.’ ‘The job had swallowed me; I’d lost sight of my true wishes’After five years, she was appointed to the board, aged 2. She had all the trappings, including an apartment overlooking one of the most beautiful parks in Paris, Parc Monceau. But it would be pushing it to say she enjoyed them. She would arrive at the office at 7am and work until she left for dinner with clients. Finacor was a quasi- cult. Everything was focused on the job.

The music of Cuba, including its instruments, performance and dance, comprises a large set of unique traditions influenced mostly by west African and European.

You spent so much time with colleagues, they became [substitute] best friends.’ She had found somewhere she belonged – or had she? Most people I knew owned their own stocks, yet I did not. I really didn’t care, which began to puzzle me. Why wasn’t I making money for myself? I came to the conclusion it was not the promise of wealth driving me.‘I suddenly sensed the game was over for me.

I felt tired and anxious. It would have been easy to stay, but the job had swallowed me and if I had waited any longer I would have lost any connection to my true wishes.’ Colleagues thought she was ‘nuts’; her parents were horrified. And then she found herself without colleagues, which effectively meant without friends, in her apartment, living on her savings. When you take a step like that, it is as if you are on drugs. No more ties! Freedom! But then the fear creeps in.‘I started to read philosophical and spiritual books,’ she says. She went on retreats to Arizona and the South of France.

After a while, she became such a familiar face on US self- help circuits that she was invited to give workshops about changing direction in life. Karen published her spiritual scribblings as The Angel’s Metamorphosis in 1. I realised that all I’d been doing was not completely me. I think I was born as a dancer but because of our family’s traditional [rabbinical] culture, being a performer was not a career open to me. So it took me years to realise this and then give myself permission to do it.’Being Karen, she instantly turned professional at the age of 3.

Voilà!’ She knows how bonkers it sounds. In Morocco, she had danced at fiestas; in Paris she had studied flamenco with Andalusian teachers, who decided her wish to stage a show was ‘crazy but doable’.

She took the 1,0. Théâtre de Paris for two nights.

I was the producer. Because who was going to believe in this project? Only me. It was a huge stress. The thing you love gives you almost more pain than doing what you don’t care about. In the pit I was fearless; on stage it is me as I am.’ Karen in her role as charity organiser with Livia Firth and Mariella Frostrup. She went on to take a successful flamenco show to the Folies Bergère and – in conjunction with Strictly’s Craig Revel Horwood – to the Lyric in London.

Why flamenco? ‘It comes from your soul. It’s also super- difficult. The rhythm is technically hard and you are part of the music – with your feet you are a musician.’According to Karen, it was only after leaving Finacor that she had time for a personal life and, as if on cue, she met Ely Ruimy, who was starting a career in property investment. They now have two sons and a daughter, aged 1.

She raises them in a very different style to her own upbringing. I have kept one thing from my parents, which is the importance of a good education. But] I want my children to express what is inside.

I listen to them a lot.’We run through her various projects. There’s a pocket version of The Angel’s Metamorphosis, a new book of emotional mantras for women called Voice of the Angel, an invitation to take her flamenco show to the Edinburgh festival in August, and a record, which grew out of the Arabic- influenced singing she incorporates in her dance show. With Mariella Frostrup she set up the Great Initiative, a charity promoting equality for women in Africa, and travelled to Liberia with Mariella and patron Renée Zellweger last year.

We met women who had been raped and because of the stigma had no job, home or money. But they are taken from the streets and trained as seamstresses. It was very moving to see them regain confidence and hope.’In The Angel’s Metamorphosis, she writes, ‘We feel so good when nothing is in front of us, no goal and no race.’ She sees the funny side in this.

What I write isn’t true, eh?

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